Shit just got REAL

Wellll I got the call I was waiting for today - the scheduler from Dr. C's office called, she had called and talked to Dr. K's scheduler and we have a date set. August 27, 2014, I will be getting my breasts removed prophylactically.
It is so weird to type those words out. I really kind of can't believe it. But I know that it needs to be done, and I honestly feel a sense of relief. We are there.

Last night was night 3 of no boob for Jack. It was another rough night of crying because he couldn't nurse, but we made it. He is over 2, he doesn't "need" it anymore, but I still feel bad. Guilty. Sad. But I know that I would feel all of that x1,000 if I put this off and ended up getting cancer. I would be so mad at myself. So we will trudge on through this, until we find a new sense of normal, where for the first time in 5 years I will not be either breastfeeding, pregnant, or both. It is so strange to think about it! Sean has been such a great help too, I don't know that I could do it without him. I would probably have broken down and gave in to Jack by now. But, we are making it. One night at a time, and hopefully soon it will all be ok. I have also been pleasantly surprised in that I haven't been engorged at all. No pain, no leaking. My body was obviously ready to be done, and we were down to just nursing a time or two at night anyways, so now was the time.

So many of my items are being checked off my to-do list for the surgery. Seen both of the surgeons, weaned Jack, scheduled a date, pre-op's are scheduled, now we just have to wait for the insurance to come through, which that should be fine, and then we are golden. Just waiting for the time to pass. I am happy to say that I plan on enjoying this summer as much as I can, playing with my boys, making memories, so that when the time comes to do this I will be ready. Ready to move past the fear of breast cancer. And it will be rad.