Wellll I'm back. My old blog was about life, baby stuff, and well, life. This one is going to be similar - life, my love of food, and my trials and tribulations of being a mutant.
Life. I love my life. I feel like I am blessed, in that I seem to know a lot of people who are unhappy, and I feel truly thankful that I have my sweet little family, my lovely house up the mountain, and just everything about it. I am blessed in most ways in my life.
Food. Food is another love in my life, it is something that I get a kick out of and have fun sharing it with others. We are signed up with our local organic farm - Circle H Farm - to get the weekly CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) and it is a great way to get a variety of different fresh fruits and veggies, in season, that are organic and just delicious. This is our third year doing the CSA, and I wouldn't have it any other way! It has been a great way to get to know others in our community, and they are great and let me come and pick strawberries and raspberries so I can make some awesome OG jam for my sweet little family. It is pretty awesome :)
Scars. Mutant. One of the downsides of my lovely little life is that I have the BRCA2 mutation. It sucks. But it is what it is and I don't have any control over the fact that I have it. It gives me ridiculously high chances of getting breast cancer, higher than average chances of getting ovarian cancer, and slightly higher chances of getting pancreatic and melanoma cancers. It is lame. I pretty much hate it and all that cancer can do, but like I said before - it is what it is so I deal. I had a scare in the past few months, and that has lead me down the path of doing preventative surgeries. I had a bad pap, so two weeks ago I had to have a cone biopsy done on my cervix. While I was out they took my Fallopian tubes as well, because I guess there is a type of ovarian - epithelial - cancer that can start in the tubes. So since we are done with kids, it was a no brainer. Get 'em out. So this made me think differently about the big old PBM. Prophylactic Bilateral Mastectomy. It is something that I always thought that I wouldn't do. I am a healthy person, like to do things the natural route - organic food, midwife out of hospital births, you get the picture - so I always thought that it was absurd to cut healthy tissue out of my body. I never thought I would do it. I understood why others with my mutation would do it to some extent, but I just didn't think that it was for me. BUT all this crap with my cervix, being so highly precancerous yet me feeling so healthy and having no clue, kinda freaked me out. I also know of several youngish -30's, early 40's - women who have died in the past year from breast cancer, leaving young children close to my kiddo's ages without a mom. And I realized, how stupid would I feel if I got cancer? When I knew that my risk was so high, but did nothing about it. How mad would I be at myself? SO I changed my mind. I'm human, I'm allowed :) So next week I am going in to see a breast surgeon. I am hoping that we click and I feel good with her, I didn't really like the other one that I saw a month or so ago, so I'm hoping this one will be the one. And if it is I will move forward, meeting with the plastic surgeons, and scheduling a date. I'm hoping for end of July, beginning of August. That way I will hopefully have enough time to get healed up enough to start back at school in the end of September. Maybe wishful thinking, but I really need to take those classes, so I will keep my hopes up.
So that's it. The topics of my blog will range from life, food, and the insanity that is a 27, almost 28 year old choosing to cut off her boobs so she doesn't get breast cancer and die. Sounds like fun, huh?
Hi Jilly - I knew about your BRCA test but I didn't realize your risk factors were so high. That's just scary as hell. I personally think you're making the right decision to take preventative measures. You have two beautiful boys who need their mother and husband who (thought I've not met him) I've no doubt would be lost without you. You have the benefit of prior knowledge. You're smart to act on it.
ReplyDeleteThanks for letting me know you're blogging again.
Hi Auntie! Ya, it is kind of scary, but as I've gotten older - jeeze I'll be 28 in July, I'm getting up there ;) - I have changed my way in thinking about it. I do NOT want to get cancer, I do not want my family to go through that, hell I don't want to go through it. So I'm choosing the slightly crazy, but giving me better chances option. Thank you for your support, it really means more then you could imagine. Love you!
DeleteI've come by the way of reading your Auntie Lisa's blog... sorry about your situation, and like your auntie, I think you're making a wise, though tough and scary, decision. How unselfish to do this for your kids and husband and loved ones.
ReplyDeleteThank you Lynn, it really is a hard decision, but when looking at all the other factors, it makes it not quite so hard. The hardest part is that I am scared - scared of the pain, of what can go wrong, the whole process. BUT I am really a lot more scared of getting cancer and leaving my family behind - something that makes all the other stuff worth it.
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